TODD
It was agony to keep driving. Todd realized now that these past few weeks had been a dream of sorts. He’d floated through them with Margery at his side; showing her sights, bringing her to the best spots to eat, laughing and arguing with her every mile in between.
And now, as though another semi-truck was blaring it’s horn at him, the headlights slicing through his windshield in warning, the dream was ending. He knew he was headed for a head-on collision with everything he’d tried to keep hidden, every part of himself that he wished he could be rid of.
He looked over again at the woman sitting next to him. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail from earlier, but several escaped strands had refused containment and now found themselves floating in the breeze of Margery’s breath. She was staring straight out the windshield, and Todd wondered if she was even blinking. He looked down at the waters they’d refilled at the last rest stop three hours ago, and saw that hers was nearly full.
“You should drink something,” Todd said gently, and the old Margery would have been startled from her reverie by his voice, but this Margery only turned her face slowly towards him, a look of concentration and vague confusion on her face.
“What?” she croaked.
“Water. Drink some water Margery. You need to stay hydrated.” She moved then, in what seemed like slow motion, and bringing the straw cup to her lips she took a small sip. Then, as though realizing she’d been desperately thirsty this entire time, she took another, longer sip, before setting the cup back in its holder.
“Are you hungry at all? Do you need some more trail mix?” he asked, reaching for the latch on the center console.
“I’m fine,” she said. Her voice was detached and floating—like a balloon let loose to explore the atmosphere.
Todd knew that was a lie from the pit of hell, but he didn’t call her on it. He knew how it felt to live on the edge of “fine.” How sometimes, “fine” was the only blanket you could wrap around yourself to keep out the chill of a life that had frozen over.
It was agony. But Todd kept driving.
MARGERY
I can’t believe I left her. I can’t believe I left her. I can’t believe I left her.
I can’t. Believe. I left.
TODD
They made it through Denver by 2 AM. They grabbed a quick breakfast in Wichita at 9. When they stopped for fuel before getting back on the road again, Todd excused himself from the eerily quiet cab for a moment to make a phone call.
“Todd? Is everything alright?” Betsy asked, answering on nearly the first ring.
“I’m…” Todd stumbled…
“TODD? Were you in a wreck? What hospital are you at? Let me just grab my purse and I’ll…”
“No, it’s not me Betsy.” Todd said quickly, “I’m fine. It’s just… we’re headed back to Alabama.” There was a silence on the other end of the phone. “Margery’s Mom is in the hospital.”
“Oh…oh Todd. I’m so sorry. Poor thing. How’s Margery holding up?"
“She’s…” Todd glanced towards the cab of the truck where he knew Margery was leaning her head against the window, staring out at nothing. Just as she had been for nearly their entire drive so far. “She’s…I don’t know. She’s hardly spoken a word since she got off the phone with the hospital last night.”
“She’s probably in shock honey,” Betsy said sympathetically. “Just keep taking care of what needs taking care of Todd. You’ve always been a good boy. You’ll know what to do when the time comes.” He smiled at her voice, her tone, her words—for a moment feeling like he was the young man who used to spend all his spare time in Betsy’s kitchen. Like the world was as simple as good food, and friends who felt like family. He’d felt that again with Margery these past few weeks…but now?
“Thanks,” he said at last, “I will. Love you Bets.”
“Love you, honey.”
Todd hung up the phone and took a deep breath, running a hand through his dark disheveled hair. A few minutes later, he climbed back into the truck, and gently rubbed Margery’s knee to get her attention.
“I brought you some hot tea,” he said. “It’s a lavender chamomile. It’s supposed to be soothing or something,” he said, furrowing his brows and squinting at the packaging as if it held all the answers to the universe.
If only.
Margery turned slowly to face him. “Thanks.” Her voice was hoarse and tired.
“We’ll need to stop in a few hours to sleep a bit before we keep going. I’ll be good with four hours or so…but are you sure you don’t want me to just drive you to the nearest airport? I’ll buy you a ticket…”
“No.” Margery said, stopping him with her hand extended, her face somehow even paler than it had been a moment before. A moment later, she dropped it again as though she were weak. “I don’t want to get in one of those…those…death capsules.” She shook her head vehemently, the motion more than Todd had seen her do in over 12 hours. “I need to get to my Mother in one piece. My Aunt Melba is there now anyways. She said she’ll let me know if there’s any news.”
Of course…she’s afraid of flying. Todd wished he could tease her about this sudden revelation but the fear and anguish in her voice brooked no argument, teasing or otherwise. The lump in his throat transformed into a tightness in his chest and he rubbed the heel of his hand against the ache as if that would ease it.
“And has there been any?” Todd asked gently.
“Any what?” Margery looked at him again, confusion stamping her forehead and darkening her pale blue eyes.
“Any news?”
“The doctors are running tests…” she said tugging at the ends of her pony tail. “But she’s still unconscious.”
“What do you need Margery? Just tell me,” he said softly. He reached out to pat her knee again, but the moment his hand landed there, she covered it with hers. The silence that stretched between them was taut with all that was unspeakable, and all that still remained unsaid.
“Just…just drive, Todd.” Margery said at last.
“Yes ma’am,” Todd said with a slight curl at the corner of his mouth, but the words fell flat even to his own ears. He knew that there was no charm that could help this situation. No.
The only thing that could help Margery now, is if I can tell her that her mom’s going to live. But I won’t know that until I look her in the eyes.
For most of his life, Todd had seen himself as a harbinger of death. But Margery had changed things. And maybe, just maybe, it was time to see his gift, as a gift, after all.
MARGERY
Margery’s world had expanded to the size of galaxies over the course of the past three weeks and then narrowed again to a pinhole in the blink of an eye.
She knew they were traveling through places she’d longed for years to see, but the Rocky Mountains of Colorado held no sway in the face of her fear. The big sky of the plains failed to awe her. She didn’t even remember what, or if she ate, though she knew that Todd was stopping at regular intervals to feed her.
Todd.
Todd’s presence was both a source of guilt and somehow…an incredible comfort. She felt so guilty that she’d left her mom in the face of all that was happening now. And yet, she was so glad to have him here with her. How can three short weeks do this to a person? How can Todd suddenly be the only person I want by my side when it feels like my whole world is falling apart?
Her doubts and questions plagued her the long miles back to Alabama. Thankfully, since the morning after she’d heard her mother had been admitted to D.W. Memorial, her Aunt Melba had arrived and Margery was able to receive regular updates even though she was still miles away. Or rather non-updates.
Her mother’s condition hadn’t changed since she’d been found unconscious in her home. The doctors said it looked as though she’d taken a bit of a minor blow to the back of the head when she fell, and they were encouraging the family that the swelling on her brain was likely causing a temporary coma. Meanwhile, they were looking into the reason behind why she’d fallen in the first place.
What if the cancer’s back? What if it’s spread and we didn’t know it? What if while I’ve been playing roadtrip romance with Todd after running away from my wedding and all my responsibilities back in Brewton…what if she dies?
The thoughts haunted her. Night, into day, into night again.
They stopped for only a few hours for Todd to sleep, but Margery just stared at the bunk above hers unable to get more than a few fitful moments of rest before Todd’s alarm went off and they started off again.
“If we keep this pace, we’ll be there by tomorrow afternoon,” Todd said as he climbed back behind the wheel. His hair was still damp from the quick shower he’d taken after his four hour nap at the truck stop. Margery couldn’t remember when she’d last seen that chin dimple that had driven her so crazy these past few weeks, and she found herself wishing he’d look her way.
“I never thanked you Todd.”
“Thanked me? For what?”
“For…” she found herself gesturing aimlessly, “for all of it. For dropping everything to drive me back. Oh SHIT!” Margery exclaimed, “You don’t even have a load right now do you?”
“I told the dispatcher I needed a few days off after that last drop in Jackson Hole. She likes me and I’ve hardly ever taken any vacation time in the past five years since I started working with this company.”
“Oh Todd…I’m so sorry. What a waste.”
“Waste?”
“Of your vacation time. You should be like, tanning your chin dimple on a beach right now with all the beautiful bikini clad people, and instead you’re driving the most morose depressed person across the country to…to a hospital.” Her voice choked on the last words as she stared at the fading light out the windshield as they headed east.
“You really are obsessed with my chin dimple aren’t you?” Todd said, smiling slightly and making it appear behind his unusually thick stubble.
“Well it’s almost cute enough to distract me from this whole mess,” Margery quipped. Then more quietly she added, “and that’s saying something.”
“It’s not a waste Margery.” Todd turned his face towards her and smiled sadly. “Every mile traveled with you is…it’s been a damn honor.”
Margery wasn’t sure she’d ever heard anything more beautifully sincere and simultaneously heartbreaking. Suddenly her heart was sinking in her chest for a completely different reason.
“Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye without saying it?” She asked before she could think better of it. I can’t do this alone.
Todd paled for a moment, his hands flexing slightly on the steering wheel before he said, “I’m not. I’m here Margery. Or there. I’m wherever you are. For as long as you want me.”
The lump rose in her throat again at his honest confession, and finally—finally in the face of all the despair and the fear of sudden loss, she remembered that so few honest-to-goodness things actually happened in life. And when they do, you need to snatch them up before they blow away like dandelion wishes.
“I can’t imagine a future where I don’t want you Todd,” she said, and meant it. So much had changed in these past weeks—she had changed. She’s become the version of herself that laughed freely and took risks. She’d never felt more fully herself.
Between them on the center console of the truck, she stretched out here arm and laid her palm face up. And Todd, without hesitation, took her soft hand in his own.
TODD
I am so completely fucked.
Todd drove through another night, and into the brightness of another day; the day that he knew would be his last spent with Margery. They drove the highways and ducked into the side streets for edible breakfasts and lunches, but just as he’d told Margery, they arrived at D.W. Memorial Hospital in the early afternoon.
“Do you want me to drop you off?”
“You’re not coming?” Margery looked panicked.
“No, of course I’m coming, Margie, I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to get a head start.” He gave her a smile that he hoped looked reassuring.
“No, I’m okay. Let’s walk in together.” She squeezed his hand again where he’d kept it on the center console almost continually since she’d extended hers. He knew he’d be in a world of trouble with his own heart later, but he couldn’t bear to withhold a single comfort from hers. For as long as you want me.
Thankfully, this small town hospital had enough nearby side streets of a decent width that he was able to park the big rig within fairly easy walking distance. When they entered the sterile building, a large dark skinned woman behind the welcome desk recognized her and welcomed her immediately with open arms.
“Margery! It’s good to see you honey, I’m so glad you made it. And just in time too!” She said, wrapping maternal arms around the trembling Margery. She looks exhausted. Has she gotten any sleep since we left Wyoming?
“Hey Sylvie…it’s good to see you too. In time…in time for what?” Margery asked, suddenly stricken.
“Your Mama’s awake! Come on now! Best not keep her waitin’!” Margery turned a fearful face towards Todd, and he tried again with a reassuring smile. Then they followed a surprisingly fast Sylvie silently down the hall.
The room where Margery’s mother, Helen was staying was painted an unexpected rose pink that Todd almost thought he could smell. No wait, those are all the flowers. On nearly every surface of the room, there were bouquets upon bouquets of flowers. But the woman in the bed was more beautiful than any of them as she turned towards where they stood in the doorway and saw her daughter.
“Baby girl,” she cooed, and Margery went running into her arms.
“Careful now!” Said Sylvie, fussing about the IV lines, and the covers in Helen’s lap. “The woman just woke from a comma, and I don’t want nothin’ puttin’ her back into one again.” Margery just leaned into her mother and held her tight.
“Thanks Sylvie,” Margery said almost breathlessly pulling away from her mother.
“Is this the young man you’ve told me so much about?” Helen asked.
“Yes Mama…this is Todd.” Margery gestured towards him, smiling tenderly.
“Ma’am.” Todd said, nodding to her from where he stood in the doorway. Helen’s eyes were clear and sharp as a winter’s sky when Todd finally raised his gaze to hers.
Margery and Todd’s story will continue in Just Drive Part Seven! Be sure to Subscribe to receive next week’s edition directly in your inbox!
GAH!! I need part 7!!
NO DANGIT GRACE NOT THAT ENDING
NOT
THAT
CLIFFHANGER
😅😭